keybroad: (Think)
Lotus ❊ ([personal profile] keybroad) wrote2017-05-19 11:58 pm

TNDG Day 9

Severe content warning: If you said no on the permissions post DO NOT READ THIS LOG. It's worse once I wrote it than the permissions post made it sound. Content warning for alcohol abuse, extremely explicit suicidal ideation, basically saying someone should die possibly through suicide, wrist trauma, domestic issues, a brief mention of abortion that did not happen, and of all things a moderately severe spoiler for Zero Time Dilemma. What follows is a summary for people who would like to be aware of what happened. If you do not want to see a summary before the content, please skip to the content by clicking here.


Lotus brings a glass of absinthe into the sci-fi set, where Santa is recovering from his hangover. Though she is just setting up a shrine for Katou, Santa ties these actions into an overall pattern of recklessness. He gets Lotus to apologize for inviting him and Ene to the same place at the same time without proper warning.

Santa's awkward supportive pauses count: 1. (End of page 1.)

Lotus: Hey. Do you know if Clover and Snake feel the same way about the hotel as you do?
Santa: Probably not.
Lotus: Oh, that's really good news. Now maybe I can live.

Lotus goes into a lot of detail about the feasibility of this plan and the unlikeliness of her survival if anything else happens, but Santa zeroes in on that part about how she saw her own death as very likely. Santa offers to try and protect her life if she tries and protects "Corrin's chances of going to the final five". Lotus refuses because "Lotus does not die" is less difficult than that. Instead she offers the equivalent trade that Santa protects Rohan's chances of going to the final five. The contract is sealed.

Santa's awkward supportive pauses count: 2.

When Lotus lifts her wrists into the light, Santa finally asks her "Are you thinking, even a little bit, of doing something like Ene wants to do." Lotus equivocates by pointing out that "like Ene" means a lot of things. (End of page 2.) Santa shifts the goal posts to "like me", confiding that when he believed June was dead, he was ready to die of suicide, until he discovered she was still alive in this universe. Lotus is very distracted and has to learn that unlike herself being from the True End timeline where June is alive, Santa and June both come from a different timeline where she died. Lotus is more ready to believe that June remembers dying because of Ayato Naoi's testimony, which she had initially dismissed as psychotic. She admits this is derailing and finally admits she knows almost exactly how Santa felt.

This is the climax. Lotus explains that during the nine days her two daughters had been kidnapped, she seriously considered suicide, mainly hesitant because of worldly obligations and the possibility that they'd come back alive. When they had survived, Lotus had to not commit suicide and emotionally support her children. Therefore, when she wants to spend money and make herself feel better, instead of taking time away from her children, she buys herself gold jewelry.

Santa silently compares this to the way his own biological mother committed suicide, and he says Lotus is a good mom, making her cry. Lotus gets tsundere and redirects them to the game, where the number of lives to save is actually limited. Santa acknowledges that he shouldn't impose his pessimistic view of the hotel onto Lotus and comes to a shared conclusion of optimism about the plan of sending Snake and Clover to the hotel: "I'll choose to trust you that the hotel isn't death for them if you choose to trust me that death isn't the right choice for you." They shake hands and agree to support each other through the future, which will "not be pretty". Lotus will stop Santa from drinking. (End of page 3.)

Santa's awkward supportive pauses count: 3.

Lotus: You know... by protecting Rohan, you really made choosing life a lot easier.
Santa: Why is he so important to you, anyway?

Similar to Santa and Kyrie's relationship, Lotus admits that she sees Rohan as the son she never had. They talk about Rohan's good traits, like not murdering Okuyasu. (Santa silently wonders if this is why Lotus wants to send away Clover and Snake.) Lotus and Rohan just connected right away similar to Santa or Corrin, or Lotus and the Ushiromiyas, which leads Santa to question whether she's "into one of them". Lotus says no very loudly, because she thinks she is not.

Santa points out that it's for the best because romance in these games is ill-fated and ends up insinuating that Seven liked Lotus. (End of page 4.) This touches Lotus, and she shows him Rohan's tattoo of a seven-headed dragon, hiding her other tattoo of a rose because that would make Santa think she is into a specific Ushiromiya, which she thinks she is not. Santa confides how much the attempt at escaping hurt him due to his bond with Seven, and Lotus says, "I refuse to put Seven with us in the bad parent corner for unintentionally abandoning Aoi-kun". Santa admits that Lotus used to be his least favorite due to Seven's interest in her, but now she is not, so she can call him Aoi all she wants. (End of page 5.) "Someone finally gives Hacchan a little credit! Thank you!" They talk about the other "tai chi club members", and Lotus thinks about working with June.


[Lotus wakes up in the morning, leaves the sci-fi set to take a shower, and still wearing a bathrobe while her hair is down, goes into the bar. She fills a brightly red-and-black checkered glass with absinthe and takes it back to her bedside table.]
jinglebros: (hologram inside of me)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ Santa's at his own bed, buried under his pillow and blanket. He'd left earlier to down painkillers and water, but he's still suffering. Still, he's at the peak of least amount of suffering he could have. He lifts the pillow. ]

Thaaat doesn't smell like water.

[ It smells vaguely nauseating, actually, but he won't comment. ]
Edited 2017-05-20 06:12 (UTC)
jinglebros: (loud enough to shake the room)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know. It's fine. [ He sits up and swings his legs out of bed, not realizing he's still in his bedclothes, aka boxers and a shirt. Put some pants on, Santa.

He eyes her warily.
]

Why're you drinking shit like that this early?
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
Liked.

[ He corrects her with a firm voice, but watching her with a wary look to his eyes. ]

Doesn't mean you should drink it.
jinglebros: (We were bold and young)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ He narrows his eyes. ]

If you want that to be your argument, fine, but don't complain when you end up laid up too.
jinglebros: (turn it up)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I can think of a few people who like this complainer, if that's what you're implying.

[ He stands up out of bed and grabs his pants from the ground, pulling them on. ]

Even if you seem to have it out for him a little.
jinglebros: do not take (soon they will be erased)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 07:31 am (UTC)(link)
Ten percent, huh?

[ Acting like he's not fucking aware of that. ]

If you don't 'have it out for me', then I have no explanation for some of your actions.
jinglebros: (like a wasted song)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't exactly say that! But I do think you're reckless.

For example, what's with not warning me Ene would be there?

[ He has to change shirts, but she's already turned around. Whatever, he just changes shirts right in front of her. He's not thinking about all his marks. ]

You just told me to go to a place and a time without saying what would be there.
jinglebros: do not take (soon they will be erased)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
We're talking about more subtle dangers. She's definitely not my friend now. I tried to save that, but she didn't believe me.
jinglebros: do not take (soon they will be erased)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Speaks slowly. ]

If she's around, she can manipulate and influence others against us in revenge for what we did.
jinglebros: (gather your places)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Santa laughs. ]

That? You really believed me on that? I fucking hate her guts.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-20 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
No, because we need to keep track of her. But we need to keep each other in the loop about what's going on.

[ He runs a hand through his hair and looks at her imploringly. ]

Please.
Edited 2017-05-20 23:39 (UTC)
jinglebros: (i don't wanna be friends)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-21 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
I wouldn't know, would I? If we're being kept out of the loop by others, we wouldn't exactly be aware of it. You're certainly the most reckless member.

[ He's not going to be dishonest about that. ]

But you're learning.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-21 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh. I'll let you know.

[ Grabbing his scarf, he wraps it around his neck and then sits back down, looking up at her. Hangover is bad but he wants to finish this conversation, and he feels like there's more to talk about. He knows there's more to talk about. But how do they approach it?

A W K W A R D
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