keybroad: (Pout)
Lotus ❊ ([personal profile] keybroad) wrote2017-05-17 08:38 pm


((SEVERE CONTENT WARNING: Suicidal ideation, survivor's guilt, telling someone they should commit suicide, it's all very bad.))

[Lotus is kneeling on the bed, wearing a white Star Trek miniskirt uniform barely held together by a chunky teal belt, crying.]

Stupid... Stop...

[Her shoulders shake. She's sobbing a ridiculous amount, even her expression isn't entirely sad at this point, just exasperated as she tries to get more air and stem the flow of all these tears before Ene gets here.]

Shouldn't have come back here...

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ene is hardly sure if she even wants to go, if she even wants to bother with someone like this, doubts plaguing her with every step she takes towards their meeting spot.

She walks in the door on Lotus crying and is immediately super unimpressed. Really? This is how she wants to play it?]

Do you need a minute?

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ene thinks this is a very poor attempt at manipulation, lady do you think I am fooled by your crocodile tears? NO SYMPATHY.]

Oh, you want answers? Try asking some questions then.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)

[What is she talking about WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT]

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
. . .

Ah. Right. I get it. You are really stupid.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
For one, if that was your plan, maybe you should have spoken to me instead of taking it on faith. Because the conversation I had with Santa? He asked me to wait, so you guys could figure out a real strategy. If you didn't want that, then you should have told me.

And this right here? What you're doing? You're playing on survivor's guilt, which is fucking bullshit. The only person killing anyone are the clown's running this place. The second you start blaming yourself, or blaming others, you're taking all the responsibility off of the ones actually doing the murdering here. I get it, you know! Someone you liked died! And you couldn't protect them. It sucks. But saying you killed him, or that I killed him, is really fucking shitty.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I am having serious regrets about trusting any of you with my death.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
There was no fucking plan, because there can't be if you don't tell me the plan.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Gee! Maybe you'd know if you ever talked to me! Maybe if you made any attempt to understand me at all, or what I want out of this, then we might get somewhere.

But no, you just make your wild assumptions and then tell me I'm the bitch for not dying on your schedule.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Santa has been told to show up so showing up is what he is doing. Finding the two of them arguing and in emotional straits is not what he expected at all. ]

The fuck is going on here?

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Slowly turns her head towards Santa.]

For the record Santa, I think your friend is crazy.

And also either suffering from survivors guilt and suicidal thoughts, or else just trying really hard to guilt trip me into dying sooner. Either way I think someone who actually cares should talk to her about that.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
She's not crazy, but she does have survivor's guilt. You have no idea what she's going through. [ Santa grits his teeth. ]

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha, wow, I didn't promise you a thing. Stop treating my life like it's yours.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Santa frowns and tries to sort this out in his mind. He holds up a hand to his head for a moment as he thinks, then looks at Ene. ]

You told me you wanted to die in the third round, and told me to communicate this to them and ask for help. You then asked for votes. The group came to the conclusion that you were going against what you wanted.

Was there a misunderstanding along the way?

[ He speaks carefully, without swearing at all. He's trying not to aggravate the situation further. ]
digiteyesed: (pic#10007796)

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[S I G H S, this is fucking. Wow. She can absolutely see where it went wrong and understand, but it still hurts that Santa assumed she was lying to them.

But then she also feels like, why do they assume it is a lie and not that she changed her mind??? People are allowed to decide to want to live after they say they'll die, it's not wrong if someone wants to live? Everyone should want to live or something is very bad??? Maybe she'll lecture them on that when this is all cleared up.]

Yes, that would be the miscommunication. You told me you guys would organise something. I figured, maybe you knew someone that wanted to leave, or one of you was going to, since, you know, there are six of you. You can't all win. You told me you'd keep me updated, and nobody has said a word to me since. So I was waiting for the update.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay. That's the miscommunication.

For the record, I had no personal idea what to think. I was being told you were manipulating me on one end, and being told you were mixed up through the other ear. I've been manipulated like fuck by a ton of people, so I believe the worst out of everyone, but I want to believe the best out of you. You're special like that. That's the only reason why I wanted to help you in the first place!

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is honestly really upsetting and she wants to leave right now immediately and go scream and punch something, but she bites it back. She can do this. What, like this is the first time a friend hasn't believed in you or you felt betrayed? Ha! This is nothing! ENOMOTO TAKANE LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF THIS CHILD'S PLAY BETRAYAL OF TRUST.]

Ah~ Whatever, you know? I guess this was too much pressure on you guys, my bad! Don't worry, I'll take care of it all next round myself, okay?
Edited 2017-05-18 20:07 (UTC)
jinglebros: (We were bold and young)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I was going to tell you to do that anyway. It's upsetting to ask me to look like a monster in front of everyone and ask them not to vote for you. You can't ask anyone to do that. You've got to do this yourself. I can support you, but I can't ask people to kill you.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh gross she's agreeing with Lotus.]

The plan always relied on it being clear that this is my choice, and a necessity if people were going to survive this place. I just needed to obscure who was voting for me so that nobody would pay attention on the list. The point was to be sneaky, not have you make a big announcement. There's no way I'd let you look like a villain, I would have made it clear on the broadcast why I chose this.

But now we have the hotel pass. So I'm planning to try for that next vote. And yeah, nobody vote for me.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Well, he still agrees with the person who said he'd look like a monster, probably because he trusts that person more. But regardless. ]

Good. Hotel pass is a good plan.

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
The first one.
jinglebros: (Default)

[personal profile] jinglebros 2017-05-18 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Fine. Good.

[ Santa is stiff at this point. He has no idea what to say anymore. ]

[personal profile] digiteyesed 2017-05-18 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Aah, well if that's all I'll get going. Just so you know, if the competition happens to be fun, I'll play and help others, but I won't turn anything in.

[Heading towards the door, but then stopping one last time]

By the way, I still haven't managed to find Snake about our deal. If you see him, tell him to hurry up and find me, or I'll have to vote without him.